On the ninth day of December, The New York Times gave to us... (Follow the links to see the videos. Some are fantastic. Some are just good. The music is phenomenal.)
Javier Bardem's angry. He's breaking lots of china.
James Franco is awesome. Guess that's because he's sexy.
Natalie Portman's a ho, but she's really sexy.
Chloe Moretz is evil, but her lips are sexy.
Matt Damon is crazy. Too many disappointing movies.
Michael Douglass is contemplating. His hair looks so goofy.
Jennifer Lawrence is screaming. She's also out of focus.
Noomi Rapace is smoking, and she's also singing. She's gonna get lung cancer.
Vincent Cassel is dancing. He's actually pretty fantastic.
Anthony Mackie's running. There's something behind him. He should get off that treadmill.
Robert Duvall is shaving. So long creepy hermit.
Lesley Manville is phoning. Must be a telemarketer.
Tilda Swinton's crying. Not an Oscar this year.
Jesse Eisenberg has a gun! BUM. BUM. BUM.
James Franco is awesome. Guess that's because he's sexy.
Natalie Portman's a ho, but she's really sexy.
Chloe Moretz is evil, but her lips are sexy.
Matt Damon is crazy. Too many disappointing movies.
Michael Douglass is contemplating. His hair looks so goofy.
Jennifer Lawrence is screaming. She's also out of focus.
Noomi Rapace is smoking, and she's also singing. She's gonna get lung cancer.
Vincent Cassel is dancing. He's actually pretty fantastic.
Anthony Mackie's running. There's something behind him. He should get off that treadmill.
Robert Duvall is shaving. So long creepy hermit.
Lesley Manville is phoning. Must be a telemarketer.
Tilda Swinton's crying. Not an Oscar this year.
Jesse Eisenberg has a gun! BUM. BUM. BUM.
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