It was a pretty depraved year at the movies in 2010, and so it was relatively easier to fill out this list than the list of the best films of the year. We had so many colossal disappointments this year, I didn't even get the chance to see them all. Sure, I did have the anything-but-unique opportunity to see Alice in Wonderland and Nightmare on Elm Street, but I missed out on Jonah Hex, Marmaduke, and most recently, Yogi Bear. I'm not about to say that I've suffered most, but I have suffered. So, to get it all out of the way, here is my list of the worst films of 2010!
5. The Other GuysFor most of the films on this list, there was
never any reason to believe that they would be the slightest bit good, mostly due to their reputation or director.
The Other Guys didn't really have any of that bad blood going against it. I've liked everything Adam McKay has put out so far, so I'm dismayed that this film ended up being so bad. On the way back home from seeing this one, the dread filled in of how disappointing this project was. One of the most important things to holding a film together is a coherent narrative, and I wasn't able to understand any of what happened in this film. If you asked me to give you a quick recap of the plot, I honestly would fail miserably. Mark Wahlberg gives one of the most irritatingly self-explanatory performances of his career, the screenplay is so poorly made with the run-on gags that take up most of the time and just aren't funny. I wish Will Ferrell's performance could redeem it, but this was quite simply a train wreck.
4. The Wolfman
You can be forgiven for not remembering this
film, as it feels like so long ago since it was released. Or maybe you forgot because it's just so forgettable. This horror remake had mixed responses when it came out, with some despising it with a passion for the same reasons I did, and some liking, or even more amazingly loving it for the simple reason that it's a gothic horror film. I for one hated it, because it was so damn corny and trashy. With a score by Danny Elfman and a powerful cast behind it, I still don't quite know how it failed so badly. They had Anthony Hopkins, Emily Blunt, and Hugo Weaving, but none of them managed to impress. The makeup job they did on the Wolfman made him look like Chewbacca. It's hard to believe in a tragedy when the lead character is so dull and wooden. This is the main reason why I'm so worried about the
Captain America film, because Joe Johnston is directing it just like he directed this. I actually believe Thor is going to end up being the solid view of the two.
3. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Unless Bill Condon turns out to be some sort of
God who is able to turn something rapidly unappealing into something enjoyable, there will always be a
Twilight film on this list until the series ends. I do try my best to avoid films that have a likelihood of sucking, but I manage to make an exception for this series. So what's to hate about this chapter of the series? The characters, to start with, are two-dimensional figures who could only find a happy home as cardboard cutouts. If I found one for an affordable price, I would snatch up a Taylor Lautner cutout in a heartbeat. The story is a simple rehash of
New Moon, which is a simple rehash of
Twilight, so if you've seen either of those films, you've seen this film already, only better. The thing that frustrates me the most about this film is that it doesn't care about what we care about. Towards the end of the film, there is a 10 year old girl who was just turned into a vampire. And "our heroes" stand aside as her short life is brutally ended for no reason. Nobody cares about the leads if they're so quick to sacrifice the lives of the weaker. This is a series about sad things happening to pretty people, and I just couldn't care less about it. And how does the film end? Well I honestly can't tell you, because I left the theater enraged before the final scene.
2. Saw 3D
The
Saw films have had a standard going on
for a while, and it's a standard that I've been more than alright with. Don't expect any narrative quality. Don't expect any quality acting. Don't expect any supreme technical advantages. All you're ever going to get is blood and gore delivered in style (kind of). The latest, and apparently last,
Saw film didn't deliver any of that, and so it made all the faults of the film shine through so much more. The cinematography is quite literally the worst cinematography of any film made this year. I can't really comment on the music, because it was utterly forgettable. The acting was stale as a cracker, the direction was a non-factor, and the screenplay was dumb as all hell. Even the traps managed to disappoint. One of the traps was just a bunch of foot tall spikes with a good two feet in between each other, and a man tangling just a few feet above them. Instead of just landing, he flails around like an idiot, which is pretty much what this film does.
1. The Last Airbender
You can sit through endless pointless schlock
and never reach the level of disappointment or dread that this film instilled in me. Never before has a film with so much potential failed in such a disastrous fashion. M. Night Shyamalan already had one foot in the grave before he made this film, but if studios allow this man to continue making films, they're only hurting themselves. Personally, I was so excited to see a feature film made out of
Avatar: The Last Airbender, the anime television show that I devoted a good amount of my childhood to. I was never able to quite understand why people were so aggressive against the new
Star Wars trilogy and the fourth
Indiana Jones, though I can't deny that
The Phantom Menace was painful to sit through. However, now I truly know what those men in their forties meant when they said that George Lucas raped their childhoods, because Shyamalan just raped mine.
This film failed in almost every aspect possible. The cinematography, which was simple and uninviting to begin with, had been glossed over with poor color conversion, to the point where it looked like they just put blue cellophane on the camera. The visual effects felt unrealistic and like a ripoff of D-War, which is just a new low. The action actually managed to make my adrenaline plummet, because it was just plain boring and stupid. The acting is perhaps the worst in any film I've ever seen, even from the Slumdog Millionaire kid. The direction was aimless and almost bent on making this the most difficult film to ever sit through. The script took any important and emotional moments of the first season of the show, and either threw them out or gave them two minutes of screen time with the most cliche dialogue you'll ever hear. They somehow even managed to mispronounce every single name in the series, especially the name of the main character. I must beg you never to subject yourself to this, because it will literally make your brain cells die within seconds. This is the worst of the worst, and gives the audience nothing in return for their time and money.
deathbed. He could barely speak, but he took the trouble to tell me one last thing. He pulled me close, and I could only make out one word. 'Disappointed'." - Robert Fischer (Cillian Murphy) from Inception
deathbed. He could barely speak, but he took the trouble to tell me one last thing. He pulled me close, and I could only make out one word. 'Disappointed'." - Robert Fischer (Cillian Murphy) from Inception
anything less than the best in each category. It didn't help that there just weren't many interesting films out this year. Probably the most disappointing upset was Roger Deakins being snubbed from Best Cinematography once again. The man just can't seem to catch a break, even after all these years.
