Showing posts with label Saw 3D. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Saw 3D. Show all posts

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Positively Schlocking: Worst Films of 2010

It was a pretty depraved year at the movies in 2010, and so it was relatively easier to fill out this list than the list of the best films of the year. We had so many colossal disappointments this year, I didn't even get the chance to see them all. Sure, I did have the anything-but-unique opportunity to see Alice in Wonderland and Nightmare on Elm Street, but I missed out on Jonah Hex, Marmaduke, and most recently, Yogi Bear. I'm not about to say that I've suffered most, but I have suffered. So, to get it all out of the way, here is my list of the worst films of 2010!

5.
The Other Guys

For most of the films on this list, there was never any reason to believe that they would be the slightest bit good, mostly due to their reputation or director. The Other Guys didn't really have any of that bad blood going against it. I've liked everything Adam McKay has put out so far, so I'm dismayed that this film ended up being so bad. On the way back home from seeing this one, the dread filled in of how disappointing this project was. One of the most important things to holding a film together is a coherent narrative, and I wasn't able to understand any of what happened in this film. If you asked me to give you a quick recap of the plot, I honestly would fail miserably. Mark Wahlberg gives one of the most irritatingly self-explanatory performances of his career, the screenplay is so poorly made with the run-on gags that take up most of the time and just aren't funny. I wish Will Ferrell's performance could redeem it, but this was quite simply a train wreck.

4. The Wolfman

You can be forgiven for not remembering this film, as it feels like so long ago since it was released. Or maybe you forgot because it's just so forgettable. This horror remake had mixed responses when it came out, with some despising it with a passion for the same reasons I did, and some liking, or even more amazingly loving it for the simple reason that it's a gothic horror film. I for one hated it, because it was so damn corny and trashy. With a score by Danny Elfman and a powerful cast behind it, I still don't quite know how it failed so badly. They had Anthony Hopkins, Emily Blunt, and Hugo Weaving, but none of them managed to impress. The makeup job they did on the Wolfman made him look like Chewbacca. It's hard to believe in a tragedy when the lead character is so dull and wooden. This is the main reason why I'm so worried about the Captain America film, because Joe Johnston is directing it just like he directed this. I actually believe Thor is going to end up being the solid view of the two.

3. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Unless Bill Condon turns out to be some sort of God who is able to turn something rapidly unappealing into something enjoyable, there will always be a Twilight film on this list until the series ends. I do try my best to avoid films that have a likelihood of sucking, but I manage to make an exception for this series. So what's to hate about this chapter of the series? The characters, to start with, are two-dimensional figures who could only find a happy home as cardboard cutouts. If I found one for an affordable price, I would snatch up a Taylor Lautner cutout in a heartbeat. The story is a simple rehash of New Moon, which is a simple rehash of Twilight, so if you've seen either of those films, you've seen this film already, only better. The thing that frustrates me the most about this film is that it doesn't care about what we care about. Towards the end of the film, there is a 10 year old girl who was just turned into a vampire. And "our heroes" stand aside as her short life is brutally ended for no reason. Nobody cares about the leads if they're so quick to sacrifice the lives of the weaker. This is a series about sad things happening to pretty people, and I just couldn't care less about it. And how does the film end? Well I honestly can't tell you, because I left the theater enraged before the final scene.

2. Saw 3D

The Saw films have had a standard going on for a while, and it's a standard that I've been more than alright with. Don't expect any narrative quality. Don't expect any quality acting. Don't expect any supreme technical advantages. All you're ever going to get is blood and gore delivered in style (kind of). The latest, and apparently last, Saw film didn't deliver any of that, and so it made all the faults of the film shine through so much more. The cinematography is quite literally the worst cinematography of any film made this year. I can't really comment on the music, because it was utterly forgettable. The acting was stale as a cracker, the direction was a non-factor, and the screenplay was dumb as all hell. Even the traps managed to disappoint. One of the traps was just a bunch of foot tall spikes with a good two feet in between each other, and a man tangling just a few feet above them. Instead of just landing, he flails around like an idiot, which is pretty much what this film does.

1. The Last Airbender

You can sit through endless pointless schlock and never reach the level of disappointment or dread that this film instilled in me. Never before has a film with so much potential failed in such a disastrous fashion. M. Night Shyamalan already had one foot in the grave before he made this film, but if studios allow this man to continue making films, they're only hurting themselves. Personally, I was so excited to see a feature film made out of Avatar: The Last Airbender, the anime television show that I devoted a good amount of my childhood to. I was never able to quite understand why people were so aggressive against the new Star Wars trilogy and the fourth Indiana Jones, though I can't deny that The Phantom Menace was painful to sit through. However, now I truly know what those men in their forties meant when they said that George Lucas raped their childhoods, because Shyamalan just raped mine.

This film failed in almost every aspect possible. The cinematography, which was simple and uninviting to begin with, had been glossed over with poor color conversion, to the point where it looked like they just put blue cellophane on the camera. The visual effects felt unrealistic and like a ripoff of D-War, which is just a new low. The action actually managed to make my adrenaline plummet, because it was just plain boring and stupid. The acting is perhaps the worst in any film I've ever seen, even from the Slumdog Millionaire kid. The direction was aimless and almost bent on making this the most difficult film to ever sit through. The script took any important and emotional moments of the first season of the show, and either threw them out or gave them two minutes of screen time with the most cliche dialogue you'll ever hear. They somehow even managed to mispronounce every single name in the series, especially the name of the main character. I must beg you never to subject yourself to this, because it will literally make your brain cells die within seconds. This is the worst of the worst, and gives the audience nothing in return for their time and money.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Box Office Update: Safely Derailed

Well I'm feeling pretty confidant right now. Clearly not confidant enough to come up with a better title for this segment, but we can't expect all the problems with the world to be solved in one day, now can we? Needless to say that Megamind ended up keeping the top spot for one additional weekend, dropping a mere 35% despite the blunt force that Unstoppable was beginning to accumulate. Tony Scott's new thriller has a chance to post a higher total before the weekend is officially over, but I doubt it will end up topping the Dreamworks favorite. 3D sells when it is used properly and in service of a good story. As for Unstoppable, I'd much rather watch this SNL sketch that premiered last night than the actual film. You get the point easily from it.



Skyline didn't post a debut as high as analysts were expecting, though it somehow did break even this weekend due to a short budget. Morning Glory held up much better than I expected, though still nothing too impressive. Due Date dropped 52%, but only went down to third place, so it can still be called a success. Not as huge as The Hangover, but that's too much to hope for. For Colored Girls took to biggest drop of 65%, proving that audiences didn't quite adore it so much as expected. This weekend certainly paled in comparison to the same weekend last year, when 2012 opened in first with $65 million. Expect a huge increase next weekend when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 opens big while setting new records.

1. Megamind (Second Weekend; $30 million)
2. Unstoppable (First Weekend; $23.5 million)
3. Due Date (Second Weekend; $15.5 million)
4. Skyline (First Weekend; $11.7 million)
5. Morning Glory (First Weekend; $9.6 million)
6. For Colored Girls (Second Weekend; $6.8 million)
7. Red (Fifth Weekend; $5.1 million)
8. Paranormal Activity 2 (Fourth Weekend; $3.1 million)
9. Saw 3D (Third Weekend; $2.8 million)
10. Jackass 3D (Fifth Weekend; $2.3 million)

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Box Office Update: Mind Over Mindless

This was a pretty phenomenal weekend at the box office, for both films deserving of it and undeserving. Working from the top down, Megamind rightfully took first place thanks to the boost from 3D as well as some positive reviews. It's barely above the opening weekend that How to Train Your Dragon sustained before becoming the sleeper hit of the year. Hopefully positive word of mouth will boost the action-comedy to similar status. Meanwhile, Todd Philips' Due Date took second place with an opening not quite as high as The Hangover. The film was opening against largely mixed reviews that might have narrowed the amount of customers for the new film.

On the bottom of the spectrum for newly released films is Tyler Perry's
For Colored Girls, which opened to pathetic reviews which dispel any Oscar hopes the film had. However, it is from the illogically appealing Tyler Perry, so I guess it was always destined for box office success. It took third with a rather hefty total, but as with all of Perry's films, it will take a hit from negative word of mouth. Red held as strong as it has been for a while, keeping a solid standing the top five where other have been falling out. Saw 3D took a beating, falling north of 60% to fifth place. In all, this was a huge improvement on last weekend, and the same weekend last year when A Christmas Carol opened at the top spot.

1. Megamind (First Weekend; $47.7 million)

2. Due Date (First Weekend; $33.5 million)
3. For Colored Girls (First Weekend; $20.1 million)
4. Red (Fourth Weekend; $8.9 million)
5. Saw 3D (Second Weekend; $8.2 million)

6. Paranormal Activity 2 (Third Weekend; $7.3 million)

7. Jackass 3D (Fourth Weekend; $5.1 million)
8. Hereafter (Fourth Weekend; $4 million)
9. Secretariat (Fifth Weekend; $4 million)

10. The Social Network (Sixth Weekend; $3.6 million)

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Box Office Update: Oh, The Horror

I really do look forward to next weekend when I can get back to a more natural setting at the theaters. We've had quite a few weeks in which there's been only one notable release, and this weekend should've been a complete failure. It's what I expected, and it's what I actually hoped for. Instead, Saw 3D managed to rake in an dishonest living, grabbing the fifth highest opening weekend of the series. Of course, we should still expect it to take a huge dive next weekend, not only from competition in the 3D market with Megamind, but because of negative word of mouth.

Speaking of such word of mouth, it certainly took its toll on Paranormal Activity 2, which suffered a near 60% drop from last weekend. Jackass 3D took a similar drop of the same amount, but that can mostly be attributed to the fact that the film is really a one-and-done sort of affair. In any case, the film still passed the $100 million mark this weekend, so that's a plus. Oddly enough, Red overtook it this weekend, taking a steady 28% drop and remaining in third. In summation, this weekend was a good 8.1% rise from the same weekend last year.

1. Saw 3D (First Weekend; $24.2 million)
2. Paranormal Activity 2 (Second Weekend; $16.5 million)
3. Red (Third Weekend; $10.8 million)
4. Jackass 3D (Third Weekend; $8.4 million)
5. Hereafter (Third Weekend; $6.3 million)
6. Secretariat (Fourth Weekend; $5 million)
7. The Social Network (Fifth Weekend; $4.7 million)
8. Life as We Know It (Fourth Weekend; $4 million)
9. The Town (Fifth Weekend; $1.9 million)
10. Conviction (Third Weekend; $1.8 million)

Friday, October 29, 2010

Film Review: Saw 3D

You see what I have to put up with? Do you understand exactly how much I do for you? I just went through the least entertaining 90 minutes of the past month, and that includes the 1979 Andrei Tarkovsky film Stalker. If you haven't heard of it, that's probably for good reason. But lets get back to Saw 3D, the finale of the overly extended Saw franchise. I have a soft spot for the final episode of a series, because when it's done right, it offers the sort of closure we always yearn for. It's something that Lost achieved earlier this year, and that the Harry Potter series is edging towards as we speak. The film I saw this evening offered none.

The film follows two parallel storylines, one following Jigsaw apprentice Hoffman trying to kill John Kramer's wife Jill Tuck. The other follows a man who pretends to have escaped a Jigsaw trap in order to earn free publicity, who is then set up in a real Jigsaw trap which he of course fails. That's really all there is to the plot, and it's rather pathetic. Sorry if I hoped for better from a franchise which reached an early peak, and has since existed for nothing but gore. This was once a tale of morality, and an effective one at that. I won't lie that I rather enjoyed the first two films, and to a certain extent the third. I kind of liked the sixth, but this one just falls flat on its face.

Even I realized that this film only existed for the traps to be seen in 3D, but they didn't even succeed in that department. None of the traps were especially inspired, offer fake blood more than anything, and the execution was far worse. Where there might have been slight bits of intensity in previous installments, there is none left. As for what we knew going in, the acting is unbelievable in the negative fashion, the script is practically nonexistent, and the cinematography is just pathetic. They filmed this production the way they would a television sitcom or a daytime soap opera, and it showed in each and every frame.

There were perhaps three things that I liked about this installment. The first involves a trap that we've seen used before, only to be disarmed before being triggered: the bear trap. We finally see it in action, and it was the only trap that lived up the Saw pension for disturbing gore. Then there's Cary Ewles, who returns to the role he last played in the original Saw. The man has a grand total of three scenes, all of which are too short. I'm not afraid of spoiling the fact that he's Jigsaw's third(?) apprentice, and the franchise properly ends where it began. Lawrence Gordon permanently traps Hoffman in the bathroom from the first film, just after taking a look at his rotten and deformed former foot whose role we remember all too clearly. Those were a few nice touches, which nonetheless do not justify the misery we had to sit through to get to that point. Saw 3D was one of the worst films of the year, and without a doubt the worst in the lackluster Saw franchise. I don't even think it's fair to call it a film. It simply, and illogically, is.

D-

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

For Your Anticipation: Once More, With Feeling

I have to tell you, I haven't been happier to see a Saw film released than I am this week. It's not because I expect it to be good or anything, because we all know it won't be. It's because Saw 3D the final Saw film, and after this we'll never have to deal with them anymore. All the "secrets" will be revealed, and optimistically, everyone will die. There will be definite closure of a sort, and that's what I wanted all along but never got. Need any more proof? I'll give it to you. Below is a clip of an important and beloved character in the Saw franchise getting ripped in half. TWICE! Enjoy the blood and guts, and envision what it will look like in legitimate 3D.


Thursday, September 9, 2010

Theatrical Trailer: Saw 3D

Another typically short Saw trailer that reveals little to nothing about the plot! What range this series has developed since it began six years ago! While I was actually impressed by some of what I saw in the Comic Con trailer for Saw 3D, this one left me with a sour taste in my mouth. Half the trailer deals with the cheesy stereotype of 3D actually causing items to fly out of the screen. The message the producers are trying to send is, "If you see our movie in 3D, it will literally kill you!" I don't expect this film to be successful, but I'll definitely see it, just so I can see if they found a legitimate way to tie up all their loose ends.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Comic Con 2010: "Saw 3D" Trailer Debuts

While I usually save trailers for the Trailer Tuesday section I post each week, I'm going to post on the trailers from Comic Con as soon as they come, and this is worth talking about. The trailer for the seventh and final Saw film is now out. Last year I was surprised by how Saw 6 actually felt like a real film, instead of the fake films the Saw films usually turn out to be. I got the impression that this was a game that Jigsaw felt needed to be done, as opposed to the ones that the filmmakers just stick in to continue the franchise.

This film is being directed by the same man as Saw 6, Kevin Greutert, and judging by the trailer, it may actually be worth our time. The Saw 3D trailer is by far the best teaser for the franchise, which is kind of an easy job seeing as most of the films only ever have a teaser, and then no full trailer. Still, if this is all we get to decide on whether the film will be worth it, I may go out of my way to see it. What stuck out to me is that there's a trap being executed in front of a crowd of people. That's what I've been waiting for the series to do. So it may have some visual flair to it, and it may not be the mediocre crap the series is more accustomed to.

Saw 3D teaser

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Comic Con 2010: Saw 3D Poster Debuts

The Saw franchise has been known for some disturbing posters, but recently, I haven't been too impressed. While I have reservations against the title of Saw 3D (as I think it should be called Saw 7, just to avoid confusion), this poster disturbed me. Now if only they can actually put together a real trailer for the film, then it might be worth it. For a 3D version of the poster, follow this link. And yes, I am covering Comic Con this year, but I'm covering it from home, so I'm not busy running around to places and I can give instant posts on the events.