The Weekend Report: You Haven't Seen The Last of Me

So it turns out that in terms of this week's releases, I was totally bass-ackwards about what to expect. Nothing like a heavy dose of reality to bring you down from those delusions. Beastly, my third most anticipated film of the month, has arrived to some pretty atrocious reviews. I don't exactly regret placing it where I did on my list, because much like in Nina Sayers, I thought I saw a flash of something greater. In this case, it appears I was wrong. So getting back to the basics of good and bad, now that that line has been clearly spelled out for us, lets continue with the bad. Tell me how a cliche 80's comedy called Take Me Home Tonight could possibly ever be good, because I can find no answer to that. This weekend, I'd rather be anywhere else.

And now that we have the unabashed drivel out of the way, lets get to what actually has a surprising chance this weekend. I am of course speaking firstly of Rango, the animated western about lizards, lizard-like mammals, and perhaps a creature or two we can't quite define. This film has no real right to succeed, and yet I've read some rave reviews calling it the most beautifully rendered animated film ever. This is a very suspect phrase, especially considering it's concerning an animation company other than Pixar. Then again, to be honest, Pixar doesn't have that great chances with their feature this year, so it's probably a good idea to find a few reasonable alternatives while we have the time.

The film that should be the big ticket item this weekend, and yet somehow hasn't gotten that sort of fame, is The Adjustment Bureau. I guess people might be hoping a little too highly for another Inception, and that's not what this film is, as I've said before. It looks like an inspirational and potentially emotional romance about choosing your path through life. I don't expect something truly great, but I expect something good, which we've had a great deficiency of this year. To have two potentially good films coming out this weekend after we've received two months of settling for less? That's just a miracle in my eyes. In box office respects, I'm certain that this weekend will be a huge step down from the same weekend last year, just because they had the massive boost of Alice in Wonderland.

Theatrical Trailer: Kung Fu Panda 2

The past two years of Dreamworks Animation have taught us to not to make immediate judgments based on their trailers, because quite often they show us the least important parts of the film. That's probably one of the most intelligent parts of their marketing strategy, and it manages to turn their films into pleasant surprises. This trailer for Kung Fu Panda 2 is no different, not showing much of the deep emotional plotlines that have been teased by producers, and instead just going with a few somewhat appealing, but not all that spectacular jokes, as well as some sweet visuals. I'm not saying it's necessarily going to be a great film, but don't judge the film based on this glimpse alone.

Theatrical Trailer: Water for Elephants

Enough of all that silly sentimental crap that we had to sit through in the first trailer. Enough of that silly old man drooling over his past life. This is the Water for Elephants trailer we wanted the first go around. The plot is clearer, and Robert Pattinson looks like less of an idiot than he did before. That's even before we get to the real reason this film looks great, and that's because of Christoph Waltz. We get a lot more of him in this trailer, and he's just as magnificent as he's always been. I don't expect an Oscar nomination from this particular role, but I expect something far more impressive than what was previously indicated. Oh, and Reese Witherspoon is in this film, kind of.

For Your Anticipation: A New Way Tomorrow

No new Fringe tonight, so it shouldn't make sense that I'm talking about it at all right now. If nothing else, it's a nice chance to touch base on the events of last week's episode. It may not be as powerful a tearjerker, but it had the same emotional potency to it. The final act of the episode is a series of non-stop quality scenes. What I'm truly hoping for next season, and I'm sold on the point that there will be a fourth season, is a conclusion to this trilogy. I want to see how the Jacksonville drug trials ended, the death of Carla Warren and Walter's incarceration, Peter and Elizabeth's reaction to it, and I want to see Hailee Steinfeld play young Olivia. That would be perfect casting in my opinion. Don't you agree? In any case, here's something to satiate you until next week's episode. If you look carefully exactly at 1:15, you'll see a flash of Walter sitting right to... Hurley! Jorge Garcia on Fringe! This is the type of awesome that draws me into this show!

Film Review: Unknown

With the release of Unknown, Jaume Collet-Serra grants one of my greatest wishes for this oncoming year. I wished that, regardless of how much the film's content sucked, the film would at the very least look good. Collet-Serra, who last directed the film everyone talked about but nobody actually saw, Orphan, wisely decides to shoot his action-mystery in the gorgeous and beautiful city of Berlin. That's not to praise cinematographer Flavio Labiano, because most of the shots he decides on are rather simple and pedestrian. Any wonder or awe at the look of the film will be based on the wondrous architecture of modern Germany.

But what of the plot, which is the real reason people are going to get into the theater and sit down in their seats. Well it follows man who goes to an environmental summit in Berlin with his wife, and he gets in a car crash, has problems with his memory, and gets back to the hotel to find that his wife had no recollection of him, she's with another man who says he's Martin Harris, and somebody is inexplicably trying to kill him. Altogether, not the best vacation he could've taken, but there's more to it than just that. It turns out that not only is he not the man who he thinks he is, but he's somebody who he'd never want to be.

If you go into this not knowing the twist, it may give your mind a mini-orgasm, but the beautiful and subtle scenery might slip right past you. Ultimately the twist is modest, but it doesn't truly blow your mind away in fire and water. Similarly, the plot and the screenplay isn't exactly a good one. It's ridiculous to almost no end, and if you're not exactly willing to suspend your belief for it, you will walk out disappointed. There's nothing exactly new about this film, and it's not the action packed thrill-ride that Taken was. This is a mystery that happens to get some half-decent action to work with. My last little quibble about the feature is that Liam Neeson doesn't look intimidating in plaid. In fact, nobody looks intimidating in plaid. There's no such thing as a plaid-ass (as in Bad-ass).

Speaking of Neeson, he does a pretty good job with what he's given, but he occasionally looks somewhat chubby and kind of old. Not to mention that whenever he can, he barks out his words like a dog. All the same, it's wicked effective and somewhat hilarious when he says "I remember how to kill you, asshole!". Diane Kruger and January Jones do some pretty good work as the two love interests of our hero, but I can't be the only one who finds it curious that all the 29-year-old hot blonds suddenly have a craving for Neeson. As unlikely as it is, the best actor of the film is Bruno Ganz, playing the man who aids Neeson's character when he needs it most. He steals whatever scene he's in, but it's a modest pleasure. Ultimately, I could never give you a straight face and say that Unknown is a good movie, but I'll be damned if it isn't entertaining and it doesn't look gorgeous.

C-

Nominee, Winner, and 5th Grade Class President

Using the fame wafting off of two of its main actor's recent Oscar runs, here's an amusing little promo for Your Highness.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

For Your Anticipation: I Have Vertigo

And then there's Rango. This is one of the few films that I'm completely on the fence about, caught between kinda-anticipating and total-revulsion. It's from the director of Pirates of the Caribbean movies, so that can either mean he's great at creating fantastic action spectacles, or that he sucks at character development, plot, and all that stuff that really matters. I can't yet tell if that's going to be the case with this one, but I get the sort of indication of that. This could turn out to be another Unstoppable, where I don't like it and yet everyone else finds something enjoyable out of it.

Those We've Forgotten...

So it does look like this following week is going to be moderately simple in approach. I'll hand out my weekdaily clips of films coming out this week, and then pretty much try to find something to talk about or comment on in the meantime. Today, that happens to be a piece that Alex Carlson, founder of Film Misery, published today on his reworked list of the greatest working directors. Entertainment Weekly did a similar list, but they skewed far too much towards the popular. You could tell that Christopher Nolan, Martin Scorcese, and David Fincher would be closer to the top, so I found Carlson's list to be revealing in more than one way.

For one thing, he keeps heavyweights like Peter Jackson, Christopher Nolan, and Sam Mendes in 20-11 range, rather than pushing them to the front. For another, I had quite honestly forgotten that some of these directors had work coming out this year. For example, do you remember Alexander Payne? No reason you should, expect that he directed Sideway, About Schmidt, and Election, three of the most interesting films released around the turn of the millennium. He has another film coming out this year, The Descendants, starring George Clooney as a man trying to reconnect with his two daughters as he deals with a developing schizophrenia problem. In a world of ten nominees for Best Picture, tell me with a straight face that's not going to be nominated.

Speaking of ten nominations, for years David Cronenberg has been just outside of the five, with fascinatingly dark films like A History of Violence and Eastern Promises. How he hasn't gotten a nomination yet is far beyond my vision. He is re-teaming with Viggo Mortensen for the third time on A Dangerous Method, the story of famed psychologists Sigmund Freud (Mortensen) and Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender). I expect another wonderfully textured and hopefully grisly feature from Cronenberg. The list goes on to feature obvious legends such as Danny Boyle, Woody Allen, Guillermo Del Toro, and Quentin Tarantino, but there were some directors I had honestly forgotten about. Check out the list here, and comment on your thoughts over at Carlson's site.

Oscar Red Carpet Fashion 2011

Suppressed deep down inside me, I believe there's a bit of a fashionista in me, and that part of me just goes crazy on Oscar night. It truly sucks being a guy, because you're forced into the stereotypical suit and tie, whereas the women get such a dramatic variation of what they can wear. Mila Kunis was amongst the most impressive of the night, and made the best of not snagging a nomination. Michelle Williams was just so pretty and petite in a way, and I just kept floating my eyes back her way. Natalie Portman was as beautiful as a pregnant girl could possibly be, with her dress amplifying her natural glow.

Anne Hathaway had so many looks throughout the night, but the one she rocked the best was quite honestly the royal blue one. The most overrated dress of the night was Jennifer Hudson's, because that orange thing she wore just rubbed the wrong way, and seeing the underside of her breast didn't help in the slightest. The most underrated was Scarlett Johansson, who also rocked the purple dress, and the cutoff nature of it really struck me in the perfect way. However, the best of the night, regardless of her simple her dress was, was Jennifer Lawrence who I guarantee had every man in the audience ogling her at everyone opportunity. You can see all of the major outfits at Entertainment Weekly following this link.

For Your Anticipation: A Dance of the Fates

This seems like an obvious choice for most, but there was something about The Adjustment Bureau I just couldn't buy into. If you're going to go with such an intellectual topic, you need to keep that intellectual edge to it. That's something that filmmakers have had some trouble doing in the past. They dumb down their films, far more than they should, and then people are surprised when they don't turn out for the best. As for this feature, many are expecting a mind-f*ck much like Christopher Nolan's Inception, but as far as I can see, this is exactly what it appears to be. It's a romance about choice and fate with two top-tier performances at the head. That's enough reason for me to see it, I guess.

Don't Cry for Hans Zimmer

Many are no doubt disappointed that Hans Zimmer didn't walk away with the Oscar on Sunday, but the man has been rewarded already, though it was many years ago for The Lion King. The fact of the matter is, he's almost constantly providing to the film industry. This Friday he turns in a fantastic score for Rango, a film I'm still on the fence about. In spite of whatever the film may be, the score is a work worthy of praise.

For Your Anticipation: Chicks Dig Blind Guys

I'm sure my ultimate fascination with Beastly is garnering its share of eye rolls and speculation. I know I'm one to surprise, and my opinions are entirely my own, but somehow this appeals to me far more than any of the other releases this coming weekend. When expectations are lowered to the minimal, you're going to be pleasantly surprised. I'm walking into this assured of that quality I'll be paying to see. It looks honestly sweet, occasionally funny, and brimming with understated quality. It's not necessarily going to be Black Swan, but I'll take it for what it is.