On Friday, it seemed like the world united in a display of profound anger and hatred for Tarsem Singh's fairy tale revisioning of the classic tale of Snow White, "Mirror Mirror". It was immediately condemned as nothing more than a manipulative kids film that throws hideous visuals at children, desperate to come off as cool. Obviously, given my own perspective on the film, I do not agree with the haters. I believe the film finds small, yet broad, strokes to paint over the familiar story in a way that rings as significant for the world it is releasing onto today, as well as sneaking in some unexpected and hilarious jokes along the way. I still profess confusion as to why nobody speaks of the film's magnificently tucked-in rape joke.
It appears that the Academy agrees with me entirely, if perhaps they have taken things a bit too far this time. In a stunning show of passion and confidence, the 85th Annual Academy Awards have announced a preemptive winner for the grand majority of the categories, and that winner is "Mirror Mirror". Taking the prizes for Best Picture, Director (Tarsem Singh), Actress (Julia Roberts), Actor (Armie Hammer), Supporting Actress (Lily Collins), Supporting Actor (Nathan Lane), Adapted Screenplay, Original Score, Sound Mixing, Sound Editing, Art Direction, Cinematography, Makeup, Costume Design (A well deserving Eiko Ishioka), Film Editing, Visual Effects, and controversially Best Animated Feature. A whopping record of 17 wins!
The remaining awards will be announced as per usual, while the categories which "Mirror Mirror" has already won will still announce nominations. Not to do so would entirely destroy the spirit of the awards. Many are protesting this decision, saying that not only does it defeat the spirit of competition, but it's also stupid to give the award to a film so unanimously hated by most. To the haters, I must say relax. Forget about your own discontent. It's only an award, and enjoy the rest of your April 1st.