There's Nothing Wrong With Me: Duncan's Worst Films of 2011

Who wants to wallow in negativity at a time when there's so much to celebrate. I've been so busy with the bustle of catching up with the year's end that I haven't had the time or attention to comment on the films I've seen. If I had, it's only been on twitter, and if you're not following me there then you're sorely missing out. But the truth is that I didn't want to write a "Worst Films of 2011" list because that brings me back to the idea of this as a generally disappointing year, which it was for the greater part of the first nine months, for me anyway. I don't expect you to agree with any of the conclusions I've made in this list, and I don't want you to. You are free to hate me for my opinions, and I'll welcome it, but here what I have to say about the films before you do so.

Summer was a dour exercise I'd rather forget. It's worth mentioning that simple films like "Captain America", "Thor", and even "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" yielded more interest from me than the likes of "Super 8". The more appropriate name for this list would be "Most Disappointing of 2011", as much of what makes some of these films bad is the potential placed on them. Let me say that these are of the films I've seen. I didn't see everything, especially towards the end of the year, when I was especially busy catching up on what I did want to see. Sorry to "Horrible Bosses". You just missed the cut. So without further delay...

Summer 2011 a disappointment?

This is pretty much the last week of the blockbuster season of this Summer that kicked off with Thor, an unassuming and seemingly silly superhero film that many wrote off within the first trailer. Admittedly, I did to. I realize how wrong I was, and in fact Thor is still the most competent blockbuster of this year. Since then things have been hardly keeping themselves afloat, at least in this viewer's opinion. I know many who were more than pleased with Super 8, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, and X-Men: First Class, even if I wasn't. Hell, I even found Captain America of all things to be a somewhat welcome and campy reprieve from all the disappointment.

And that's just scraping the surface of what the viewing public critically approved of. How can we forget about all the warranted cynicism surrounding Priest, the blatant distaste of On Stranger Tides, and the unimaginable stupidity of The Hangover: Part II. And I almost forgot to mention Green Lantern, but it managed to disgust even the most hardcore of fanboys. And (dis)honorable mentions are needed for Zookeeper, Cars 2, Bad Teacher, Horrible Bosses, and others I'm too tired to list. All this hatred makes me forget the few real successes of the year.

Remember Kung Fu Panda 2, and how it brought us the greatest supporting actor performance of the year out of the mouth of a peacock? If Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy bottoms out, unlikely as it is, I'd suggest Gary Oldman just be nominated for that. How about Bridesmaids? Absolutely hilarious for almost two straight hours, and surprising depth from Kristen Wiig of all nutty characters. And I know this isn't a common opinion, but Transformers: Dark of the Moon was the most guiltily enjoyable romp of the summer. I feel no shame in admitting my enjoyment of Bay's loud stupidity.

So the season effectively ends this weekend with Rise of the Planet of the Apes, which is about as unassuming as film as Thor was at the start of the year. Fittingly enough, both films look to feature fantastically strong leading performances from unlikely actors. Having seen just seen it now, I can say that it keeps up this summer's streak of being adequate but not at all outstanding. I'll get to that later, but I didn't hate everything about the film. In particular, one thing is truly amazing.

Box Office Update: At World's End? Not So Much.

The weekend box office estimates would surely look a tad bit different if the world had ended at 6:00 on May 21. Thankfully, that silliness is now past us, and we can worry about real problems in the world. The summer box office marathon continued with great, yet somehow middling success, as Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides took the top spot with about $90 million. It's not as high as the openings of the last two films, but there was bound to be some fourth flick backlash, not to mention negative word of mouth. Yet audiences still took to this film rather positively, as I kind of knew they would. Flash and pretension are two of the most powerful hooks for the gullible audience.

Ruling the holdovers with pink gloved fist was Bridesmaids, which fell only 20% from last weekend's more than modest debut. It has been proving to be something of what The Hangover was two years ago. I fear it will drop when The Hangover: Part II arrives next weekend, but probably not by much. Thor took a more substantial fall of 55%, which is understandable as the big blockbuster slot has now been filled by another. Fast Five fell another 48% as it moves ever so slightly closer to $200 million. All in all, this weekend was an 11% increase from the same weekend last year, when Shrek Forever After opened in first.

1. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (First Weekend; $90.1 million)

2. Bridesmaids (Second Weekend; $21.1 million)

3. Thor (Third Weekend; $15.5 million)

4. Fast Five (Fourth Weekend; $10.6 million)

5. Rio (Sixth Weekend; $4.6 million)

6. Priest (Second Weekend; $4.6 million)

7. Jumping the Broom (Third Weekend; $3.7 million)

8. Something Borrowed (Third Weekend; $3.4 million)

9. Water for Elephants (Fifth Weekend; $2.2 million)

10. Soul Surfer (Seventh Weekend; $1 million)

Film Review: "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides"

There are moments like these when you're sure that things couldn't possibly get worse, yet you know they will. Such were the thoughts that ran through my head as the credits rolled for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. I thought it would take hours before it sank in how truly horrible the film I just saw was, and it arrived in mere minutes. I felt like this could be the inglorious end to the franchise, and then I remembered how brilliantly the film will do at the box office this weekend. It doesn't matter if negative word of mouth arrives in time. People will still see it for themselves.

I went to see the film on a whim, leaving my home for the theater ten minutes before the film started. I didn't arrive until about 15-20 minutes into the film, just as Jack was running amok into a London street corner. Honestly, I don't believed that I missed anything of value in the time that I missed. Captain Jack Sparrow is acting absolutely crazy for no apparent reason. Seems to fit just about right, doesn't it? In any case, it didn't take long for me to pick up on the fact that somebody has been impersonating Jack in order to put together a crew to sail towards the fountain of youth. It turns out the impersonator is Angelica, a former flame of Jack's. I know that most of these characters are drunken pirates, but how could any of them think for a second that Penelope Cruz is a man?

Remember how in the first three films Jack would be the center of the universe and that everyone would be following him? That couldn't be further from the truth this time. He is the main character, but every single moment it feels like he shouldn't be. He's being thrust into this adventure unwillingly, and he ends up a regular crew member on the Queen Anne's Revenge, infamous ship of the infamous Blackbeard. They're headed for the fountain of youth, as is Captain Barbossa, now a privateer for the high court of England. And, apparently, so is a Spanish fleet. It feels like too many people are going after the same thing for no reason.

The Weekend Report: Pirates; DAMN!

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides has already set a record for the most obvious usage of 3D in any film, live-action or animated. I include that moment in Monsters vs. Aliens when that guy is playing ping pong the audience's face. I feel like this weekend is a follow up to another weekend that happened about six months ago. Another film that looks very much like the latest Pirates film, and even stars Geoffrey Rush, opened to no other new releases. Interestingly enough, while The Warrior's Way brought in only $3 million that weekend, On Stranger Tides is poised to take in somewhere around the vicinity of $100 million.

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My interest in this specific film has changed not-so-substantially from my initial take of the trailers. Back then, I thought that it looked like a very stupid, yet ignorantly fun, adventure film. Now, I just think it looks stupid. That's not going to prevent me from seeing it, but I will not be seeing it in 3D, and I won't be enjoying myself. Expect a review either sometime tonight or sometime tomorrow. What I would much rather be seeing this weekend is Midnight in Paris, which is only opening in limited release. It makes me desire to live in New York or Los Angeles so that I could see these films much sooner.

For Your Anticipation: What Be That, First Mate?

Somewhere between my immature initial viewing of At Worlds End and now, I became fatigued of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. At this point, I could not care less about Johnny Depp's usual Johnny Depp-isms. The "stunning visuals" we expect of Rob Marshall has pretty much worn off, as has Rob Marshall's fanbase after Chicago. He is the one hit wonder of the past decade. Adding Penelope Cruz and Ian McShane to the cast is only damage control as the producers attempt to bring excited fans back after the train wreck of the past two films.

Digital 3D in Summer 2011

I feel like the film industry has learned some valuable lessons in terms of using Digital 3D in film. I am, personally, an affable fan of the technique just so long as it is done correctly. It's like really good chocolate, but you can still overdo it. This Summer has found a certain measure of moderation, with X-Men: First Class, Super 8, and Cowboys & Aliens all opting out of Digital 3D. I think it's a worthy rule that if your film isn't just standard popcorn fare that you shouldn't go for 3D. In the meantime, there are some films that you could easily see in 2D without complaint. I'll try to give you a decent idea of which films would be worth the extra three bucks.

May

Thor - Post-conversion, but deals with epic celestial realms. Probably still majestic and preferable in 2D.

Priest - Not in 3D. Not in 2D. Not on DVD. NOT EVER!

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - Promising visuals from Rob Marshall in service of a less than spectacular screenplay. If you see it at all, go for 3D.

Kung Fu Panda 2 - Heartfelt animation from Dreamworks, so definitely worth 3D.

June

Green Lantern - It's practically an animated film, and the superhero was made for 3D. Should attract the same fans as Avatar, so you'll see it in 3D either way.

Cars 2 - If it's not in the sky, it's not worth your time. If you see Pixar's latest, see it in 2D.

July

Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Sparks, explosions, clanging metal, and more explosions. Shut your brain off and see it in frantic 3D glory!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 - I'm completing the journey in 2D. You should too.

Captain America: The First Avenger - Seems to evoke the film I would have died to see in 3D, Star Trek, so go for the glasses.

The Smurfs - Seriously? Don't even bother.

Films to See in 2011: May

As the official start of the Summer movie season, I can't help but think that May is shaping up pretty well under the circumstances. Each weekend gives us a gargantuan sized blockbuster for mainstream audiences to spend their time and money on, even if you decide to count Fast Five as the start of the season. I don't, because I occasionally decide to be optimistic. I'll continue to refer to Thor as the kickoff event, much like I referred to Star Trek as 2009's kickoff event after X-Men Origins: Wolverine went up in a pile of smoke and oblivion. Reviews for Thor have come out surprisingly well, which was probably the biggest worry heading into this Summer. Joss Whedon has started production today on the epic scale blockbuster for next Summer, The Avengers. We don't want to head into it with a bad taste in our mouths.

I have reservations against The Beaver, and they surprisingly enough have nothing to do with Mel Gibson. The man may suck as a person, but his work is still formally brilliant. Bridesmaids looks like an amusing vehicle for underrated SNL comedian Kristen Wiig. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides doesn't have a hope in chance of being good or great. What we can expect is a fun ride. Finally, as much as I would like to hope for the best, The Hangover: Part II is just starting to look unnecessary. I'll see it, which is a guarantee either way. I was on a dodge-ball team in high school called "The Wolfpack". It's pretty much a mandatory requirement. I just may not find as much gleeful pleasure as I had hoped for. That leaves us with my top three most anticipated films of this upcoming month, and I should be pretty well assured of greatness this time around.

Theatrical Trailer: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

I know that the outlook of this Summer in terms of high quality entertainment is rather slim, but I always found that the season was meant for passable action entertainment. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides was only ever going to be that sort of feature, as you can tell quite clearly from this trailer. None of the jokes quite hit the right mark, and it's clear writing isn't this latest film's strong suit. Check out the trailer below and feel free to chime in in the comments section!

What's Next?: Best Supporting Actor

We had something of a weak start to this series last week, with a bunch of supporting actresses who weren't planning on doing anything radical or new in the next year. This week is certainly a step in the right direction, with five supporting actors who have rather large and immediate plans made. Take John Hawkes for example, who is currently nominated for his role in Winter's Bone, which premiered a year ago at Sundance. This year he has a similar Sundance darling in the form of Martha Marcy May Marlene, in which he plays the leader of the cult that Elizabeth Olsen's character is trying to escape from. I'd be very happy to see the man back here again next year.

Mark Ruffalo's next feature is certainly an ambitious one, and he has some literally huge shoes to fill. He's set to appear as Bruce Banner, otherwise known as the Hulk, in Joss Whedon's The Avengers, currently slotted to release in May of 2012. On a related note, Christian Bale also has a superhero role by the first name of Bruce to head into after he picks up his Oscar statuette later this month. The Dark Knight Rises is piecing itself together as we speak, with a few casting rumors still circulating. I doubt they're going to put Robin Williams in as Hugo Strange, because I feel we have all the villains we need for the film to work. However, if Joseph Gordon Levitt ends up playing a supporting protagonist, I'm totally in. Wally Pfister has also recently said that he's read the script for the film, and it could potentially top The Dark Knight. If that doesn't make you want to push time forward to July 2012, then I have no idea what does.

I'm sorry if it felt like I was going off course, but I just had to get that news out there. Getting back on topic, Geoffrey Rush can be said to have big plans this year, but depending on who you ask, he could also have made some decisions. This May, Rush reunites with Johnny Depp for the fourth installment in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, On Stranger Tides, this time circling around the fountain of youth. With each film, there is a certain chance of some shred of disappointment, and this is no different. Still, it may be good impure entertainment, but certainly no more. Capping things off with Jeremy Renner, he has two rather large box office enterprises to head into. For one thing he has a supporting role in The Avengers, so he may have a scene to shoot with Mark Ruffalo. On the more immediate horizon, he's working with Brad Bird on Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, which could be the best film in the franchise. I expect big things of Brad Bird, and he's never let us down before. Not to my recollection anyway.

Images (in order): Christian Bale in The Dark Knight; John Hawkes in Martha Marcy May Marlene

Teaser Trailer: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Whatever happened to the teaser trailers that only needed to be a minute long? It seems like the teaser trailers released these days are blowing their wads way too early. The latest in that batch is the new trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. I'm not going to start to work out what this film is about, besides the fact that it's about Jack Sparrow's search for the fountain of youth. This trailer has the stunning visuals that are expected of director Rob Marshall, and the simple comedy beats expected of Johnny Depp at this point. I doubt that critics will approve, but as long as they provide the action we've expected of this series, then sure. I'm in.