Dread Locks: July 2011

It's usually at this point that I get a substantial amount of dread for just how many horrible films are on their way in the coming month. I had a tough time narrowing it down to three films for July, because there are many that are likely to disappoint, and others that truly have no hope for the slightest quality. I ended up settling upon the current three based on just how juvenile they are, and therefore how much mass appeal they're likely to have. Monte Carlo barely missed the cut, but don't take that as anything close to a recommendation.

First up is Larry Crowne, which is sadly enough Tom Hanks' directorial debut, placing him amongst the ranks of Ron Howard. I know there's only a few ways you can go with this sort of material, but Hanks could have picked something more ambitious than a dumb comedy like this. I'm sick of people defending it, because there isn't a single bad joke that you've heard better somewhere else. I won't even talk about the good jokes, because there aren't really any. Then, a week later, there's Zookeeper, which I have a high level of disdain for. It exceeds being simply disappointing, and is genuinely painful just to sit through a piece of marketing for it. Talking animals have never looked more self-indulgently stupid.

Finally, capping off the month of July is The Smurfs, which I kind of wish I wasn't even slightly interested in seeing. It has Neil Patrick Harris from How I Met Your Mother and Jayma Mays from Glee, so you automatically get the idea of a purely comedic venture. Don't look for any heart, because you won't really find it. The sort of thing that Disney did with Underdog and its ilk is exactly what is happening to The Smurfs. If the writers have no real ideas, they send their characters to New York, because what's not funny about that? Any of these three films seems potentially harmful to my sanity, so vote in the sidebar for which one I should see next month. There's no clear frontrunner yet, so it's really anyone's game.