Film Review: Saw 3D

You see what I have to put up with? Do you understand exactly how much I do for you? I just went through the least entertaining 90 minutes of the past month, and that includes the 1979 Andrei Tarkovsky film Stalker. If you haven't heard of it, that's probably for good reason. But lets get back to Saw 3D, the finale of the overly extended Saw franchise. I have a soft spot for the final episode of a series, because when it's done right, it offers the sort of closure we always yearn for. It's something that Lost achieved earlier this year, and that the Harry Potter series is edging towards as we speak. The film I saw this evening offered none.

The film follows two parallel storylines, one following Jigsaw apprentice Hoffman trying to kill John Kramer's wife Jill Tuck. The other follows a man who pretends to have escaped a Jigsaw trap in order to earn free publicity, who is then set up in a real Jigsaw trap which he of course fails. That's really all there is to the plot, and it's rather pathetic. Sorry if I hoped for better from a franchise which reached an early peak, and has since existed for nothing but gore. This was once a tale of morality, and an effective one at that. I won't lie that I rather enjoyed the first two films, and to a certain extent the third. I kind of liked the sixth, but this one just falls flat on its face.

Even I realized that this film only existed for the traps to be seen in 3D, but they didn't even succeed in that department. None of the traps were especially inspired, offer fake blood more than anything, and the execution was far worse. Where there might have been slight bits of intensity in previous installments, there is none left. As for what we knew going in, the acting is unbelievable in the negative fashion, the script is practically nonexistent, and the cinematography is just pathetic. They filmed this production the way they would a television sitcom or a daytime soap opera, and it showed in each and every frame.

There were perhaps three things that I liked about this installment. The first involves a trap that we've seen used before, only to be disarmed before being triggered: the bear trap. We finally see it in action, and it was the only trap that lived up the Saw pension for disturbing gore. Then there's Cary Ewles, who returns to the role he last played in the original Saw. The man has a grand total of three scenes, all of which are too short. I'm not afraid of spoiling the fact that he's Jigsaw's third(?) apprentice, and the franchise properly ends where it began. Lawrence Gordon permanently traps Hoffman in the bathroom from the first film, just after taking a look at his rotten and deformed former foot whose role we remember all too clearly. Those were a few nice touches, which nonetheless do not justify the misery we had to sit through to get to that point. Saw 3D was one of the worst films of the year, and without a doubt the worst in the lackluster Saw franchise. I don't even think it's fair to call it a film. It simply, and illogically, is.

D-

For Your Anticipation: Once More, With Feeling

I have to tell you, I haven't been happier to see a Saw film released than I am this week. It's not because I expect it to be good or anything, because we all know it won't be. It's because Saw 3D the final Saw film, and after this we'll never have to deal with them anymore. All the "secrets" will be revealed, and optimistically, everyone will die. There will be definite closure of a sort, and that's what I wanted all along but never got. Need any more proof? I'll give it to you. Below is a clip of an important and beloved character in the Saw franchise getting ripped in half. TWICE! Enjoy the blood and guts, and envision what it will look like in legitimate 3D.

Theatrical Trailer: Saw 3D

Another typically short Saw trailer that reveals little to nothing about the plot! What range this series has developed since it began six years ago! While I was actually impressed by some of what I saw in the Comic Con trailer for Saw 3D, this one left me with a sour taste in my mouth. Half the trailer deals with the cheesy stereotype of 3D actually causing items to fly out of the screen. The message the producers are trying to send is, "If you see our movie in 3D, it will literally kill you!" I don't expect this film to be successful, but I'll definitely see it, just so I can see if they found a legitimate way to tie up all their loose ends.

Comic Con 2010: "Saw 3D" Trailer Debuts

While I usually save trailers for the Trailer Tuesday section I post each week, I'm going to post on the trailers from Comic Con as soon as they come, and this is worth talking about. The trailer for the seventh and final Saw film is now out. Last year I was surprised by how Saw 6 actually felt like a real film, instead of the fake films the Saw films usually turn out to be. I got the impression that this was a game that Jigsaw felt needed to be done, as opposed to the ones that the filmmakers just stick in to continue the franchise.

This film is being directed by the same man as Saw 6, Kevin Greutert, and judging by the trailer, it may actually be worth our time. The Saw 3D trailer is by far the best teaser for the franchise, which is kind of an easy job seeing as most of the films only ever have a teaser, and then no full trailer. Still, if this is all we get to decide on whether the film will be worth it, I may go out of my way to see it. What stuck out to me is that there's a trap being executed in front of a crowd of people. That's what I've been waiting for the series to do. So it may have some visual flair to it, and it may not be the mediocre crap the series is more accustomed to.

Saw 3D teaser